The Power of Your Clique'

In 2012, rapper and mega producer Kanye West released a compilation album with label mates from his Good Music roster. Along with legend Jay Z and new comer Big Sean the song ‘Clique’ began taking over the airwaves. Youth from California to New York were raving about the status of their own individual cliques. What’s ironic is more than we often realize, the people we associate with have a huge impact on our lives.

Clique by definition is a small, select association or group of people who are considered exclusive. What makes this so interesting is we are usually defined not by who we connect with, but also who we don’t. In Latin, the word ‘friend’ means ‘another me’. Armed with this information it becomes apparent we need to guard our circles and make sure the people around us are a good representation of who we are. Sure we feel connected to those online via Facebook and Twitter, but do we really know them well enough to invite them into our circle?

Dr. Myles Monroe says “When the purpose for a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable.” So the word ‘abuse’ is made up of two words; ‘abnormal usage’. Look around. Have you ever felt abused in some way by a person you called friend? Most likely, that person had no idea of the true purpose of your friendship so the outcome could not be avoided.

Solid relationships are made from the inside out. It is our own mirrored reflections that determine how we choose a friend and how others learn to treat us. If this image is perceived as flawed, we radiate that throughout our lives. It’s a vibe or air that others can pick up on when they come into our presence. Nothing makes for a good foundation like self worth, self assurance and self confidence.

Here are (3) tops reasons our relationships fail:

1. The nature of the relationship is not understood: Did you know that ‘why’ we connect is just as important as to whom we connect with? Every clique, friendship or even business venture starts with a ‘why’. If this ‘why’ is not expressed and understood, you will usually end in a wreck. The guy you buy your coffee from, the bus driver and the person who rented you a car all have something in common. They serve a purpose and that purpose is defined clearly. When the lines of ‘why’ get blurred, expectations aren’t met and feelings get hurt.

2. There’s a lack of maturity: It’s always funny when I am in a corporate setting and someone says, “We should be able to get this done, we are all adults here!” I have learned that being mature has nothing to do with being an adult. For some reason we hit a stage in life where we are regressing instead of progressing. When relationships are handled from a place of maturity, needs can be met. It goes beyond the old ‘what’s in it for me’ and seeks mutual benefits.

3. There are unrealistic expectations: Some people are like a pair of pants with holes in the pockets, they never get filled. It seems that no matter how much you give, some will never be content. In fact, the more you give them, the more they demand. It’s like they have a sense of entitlement and you’re their ‘genie in a bottle’. That is not fair to you or them. Boundaries are a healthy part of all relationships. Without them someone ends up being taken advantage of.

Whether you’re a fan of Kanye’s song ‘Clique’ or not; it will resonate with you. Why? Because in one form or another we all have a connection with someone. I believe we can benefit from learning the power of our clique and use it for positive growth.

See ya at the top!

Early Jackson

© 2013, Early L. Jackson. All rights reserved.